Thoughts on being single – Blessings

My Pastor has joked that marriage these days is like a fly on a window: Those that are in are trying to get out, and those that are out are trying to get in. There is an element of truth in that.

As we saw earlier, singleness is a gift. Sometimes it’s hard to see it as that, but there are very definite practical reasons for believing it to be a gift. In verse 32 of 1 Cor 7 Paul says:

“I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband.”

It sounds so candid when Paul says it, almost saying that being married brings anxiety, which you should avoid. I think Jesus said something similar, but in a far more serious tone when he was speaking of the Eunuchs and said: “…and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven” (Matt 19:12).

Both of them are saying that there is at least one advantage to being single: it frees up your heart to be fully devoted to Kingdom work, and frees up your time to be fully devoted to kingdom work.

I use the word ‘devoted’ here, because it’s the word Paul uses all over 1 Cor 7. In verse 35 Paul uses it in this context: “I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord…“. Lets dwell on this sentence for a while.

Firstly, Paul says it is for their own benefit. Do you believe as a single person, that you are single for your own benefit? I know it hardly ever feels like that, and herein we are confronted with one of the fundamental questions of being a believer. I’m serious, I think the single person has to face this question daily, this most important mental hurdle. The question is: “Do you really believe that God knows what he is doing, and is doing what is best for you?”

Do you? It may sound easy to answer, but anyone who answers this question absolutely truthfully in the affirmative, is a step away from being a saint.

Secondly Paul says ‘to secure their undivided devotion to the Lord’. That’s a very well phrased sentence. The reality is that no matter how much you try as a married person, a lot of your devotion to God will naturally, and rightfully, be divided between God and your spouse. You may well have an incredibly devoted heart towards him, but there’s no way you’ll be able to devote as much time, otherwise you will lose your marriage.

This is by far the biggest gift of being single. Time, lot’s of it. The ability to give your undivided devotion to God. My message is this: Don’t waste this time. Don’t throw away this gift. It’s a precious opportunity, and it’s your saving grace.

Seriously, the best remedy for loneliness is exhaustion. There’s not much time to feel lonely when you’re committing all your free time to kingdom work. To be sure, busyness is a killer, but so is loneliness, and I’d rather die exhausted and satisfied than lonely with some energy to spare. It’s a gift to have time on your hands. Use it well.

One of the authors I was reading said you should not be working to get out of this time but to be making the most of this time. Touche’.